Monday, June 25, 2007

This is Part II of a story...

...that began quite some time ago, about a young hermit crab named Jean Valjean.

His first reaction, intrepid though he was, was panic.

Skitter skitter skitter, went his quick little legs, back and forth, to and fro across his ruddy prison. After a few circuits, however, he realized that he was not getting anywhere. And intrepid as he was, he knew that he had to be calm, rational and strong. Okay.

Step one: Assess the situation
I'm trapped in a tall, slick cell with high, circular walls. Aliens put me here. I don't know what they want with me.

Step two: Options
Perhaps make a hole, maybe climb in some way, run-

-and just as he was beginning to formulate a scheme, the plastic walls confining him began to sway. Our hero slid slowly to one side of his cell, then was quickly flung to the other. He retreated into his lovely split level shell, but the impact of the backswing thrust him back out. Then, in a flash, he was dashed against the other side, and the dull red glow of his world faded to black.

Dreams are odd places.
One never really knows what
will happen to him.

A large purple fish
with creaky robotic legs
stalks across his beach.

Jean extends his claws
and snaps them three times. "I pinch!"
The fish steps forward.

Snip snip! The leg creaks
and the hideous fish falls,
lurching toward the ground.

AND I'M OKAY!" with a loud,
high pitched voice, falling...

With a start, Jean awoke. Light flooded his crimson prison, and he tumbled out into a bright, white room. Under his feet was a clingy, fibrous surface that caught his claws when tried to shield himself. Slowly, his eyes adjusted. Looking down at him, he saw it. The wide, green eyes of the Space Alien that grabbed him, framed by that same hideous, speckled face. Jean knew the moment of truth was upon him.

To be continued...

Friday, June 15, 2007


It's a good show, if you like that sort of thing. They use their gimmick well, and it works. Anyway, the main inspiration behind this post is the cultural phenomenon that main character Jack Bauer's body count has become. It's inspired contests, numerous jokes (SPOILERS, also, some are recycled Chuck Norris jokes), facebook groups, and even a detailed account of every kill he's made in each season! (Also spoilers, duh).

Anyway, for a while there, I never really got it. I'd seen season 1 on DVD, and was rightfully impressed...they took what could have been terrible and gimmicky and turned out a really well written show. It didn't really seem excessively violent, if you looked at it as a full season of a government agent/cop show, and it wasn't especially. Jack's body count from season 1 was 10. Not very high for a main character in such a show.

Then I started watching season 2, and it all made sense. Compared to season 1 Jack, season 2 Jack is CRAZY! His body count triples in season 2. I've got to say, the jokes now seem completely deserved. Oh, and just for statistics sake, the highest body count occurred in season 4, with 44 dead at Bauer's hands. I'll probably see 3-6 eventually, because 1 was great, and 2, though scatterbrained, has been good, so don't ruin 'em for me!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Sorry Everybody,

I realize that I haven't posted anything in nearly two weeks, which is completely contrary to the plan. I haven't even given you any of that nothing that I'd promised. Anywhom, I've been trying to find a job, and it's slow going. But that's not a very good excuse. Anyway, I've got nothing, so Haiku:

Six strings, twenty frets,
and some five clumsy fingers
make sweet melodies.

Friday, June 01, 2007

This Just In!

Leftover grilled chicken avocado sandwich! Hooray! Also, Meagan still wants a puppy.