This is a story...

...a story about a young hermit crab named Jean Valjean.

Jean Valjean led a peaceful life in his friendly oceanside dwelling. He had a lovely split-level conch shell about 20 feet from el mar, and he liked to take daily walks down the beach, partially for exercise, but mainly to survey his mighty domain (all hail).

This is not to say the beach was not without its perilous perils...its perils could be quite perilous. But Jean Valjean was somewhat above all this nonsense; after all, he had his trusty shell. So, with fear of neither man nor beast, he embarked on his morning constitutional.

This morning, however was not like most other mornings for our crustacean friend. He peaked out on the world for the first time that day and saw not only the usual bright shining sun, oh no. Obscuring it was a large, red-striped disk high up in the sky. Not quite so high as those damned seagulls, what with their squawking and posturing (they could be a nuisance, but brandish a claw hither or thither, they got the message right quick, let me tell you), but still high enough as to have originated from some unusually powerful creature.

Naturally, the intrepid crab was eager to investigate this newfound obstruction, but not so eager as to just charge out and anger it, like so many daffy English k-niggits. He decided to go ask the opinion of his nextdoor neighbor, wise old Qinxiuhuangdi, the turtle that lived in a large, yet run down terra-cotta number a few rocks over. When our hero asked the old codger what he made of the grand Thing in the Sky, he put down his breakfast of seaweed, stroked his long beard, and let out a thoughtful "Hmmm..."

"...I've seen something like this before," he finished, 30 minutes later. "Either it's an imported variety of tree, or it's space aliens."

"Space aliens?" Jean asked. "Don't they come from Mexico?"

"What's Mexico?" Qinxiuhuangdi queried.

"I don't know, I read it on a wordy leaf that landed on my doorstep one morning."

"Oh, okay, well, no. Space aliens come from far away worlds, farther even than the sandbar, or the treeline...most likely, that's what this is."

"Good enough for me," our vigilant arthropod submitted. He turned tail and skittered his cute little split-level shelled butt on over below the space aliens' giant suspended disk. "Space Aliens!" he hollered, "What is your business here? I am the intrepid hermit crab, Jean Valjean. This is my beach, and I welcome you in peace. I mean you no harm, and permit you to walk down my beach!"

Just as he finished his speech, a shadow crept over him. With his last words, he felt himself being lifted high into the air by his home. He saw a pair of enormous green eyes set in a speckled (not to mention hideous) face, and heard a booming voice remark that he had a cute little shelled butt, then before he knew it, he found himself enclosed in a slick prison that was a shade of faded red.

Jean Valjean realized what was happening to him. He was being abducted by aliens.

To be continued...