Thursday, November 30, 2006

Rooster Teeth and Dallas Clark

Edit: It seems Rooster Teeth has pulled all of the material related to this whole thing. I don't know why they did, but I managed to track it all down, except the video...If I ever find it again, I'll put it up.

First watch this. (Assuming you haven't seen it)

That commercial was actually made by Rooster Teeth Productions, the guys behind the popular web series Red vs. Blue. Apparently, Dallas Clark wasn't happy about it, and whined in the news...something about how he looked like he was dying...whatever.

Anywhom, RT released a response in the form of a news item on their website, which was taken down for some reason. Here's the text:

Dear Mr. Clark,

First, let us begin by saying you are an incredibly strong and handsome man. When we created the "Biggest Hit Ever" Madden '07 commercial featuring your virtual likeness, it was never our intention to portray you as anything but heroic and god-like. Unfortunately, filmmaking - even commercial filmmaking - is an often tumultuous and unpredictable process. Sometimes the best scenes are left wasted on the cutting room floor. Anyone who's seen the director's cut of "Blade Runner" or "Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach" knows exactly what I'm talking about. But I digress.

It's been reported in the media that you felt our little commercial made you "look like a punk" or "like you were dying." However, nothing could be further from the truth. Dallas Clark is not only the single greatest professional athlete of our time, he is also an American Hero. As proof, and as our way of saying sorry, we now present the Director's Cut version of your Madden '07 commercial. We think it also definitively proves your greatness in the virtual world.

In closing, you are a huge and powerful football god whom we do not wish to anger. We are tiny pathetic video game nerds. Please don't hurt us.

Your adoring fans at Rooster Teeth

The best part about the post, though, was the accompanying video...they took that down too...tear. HILARIOUS. Go RvB! Go electronic ubiquitous Dallas Clark!


Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Quite So!

Snowy nights...I absolutely love the crap out of them.

I love the way the streetlights reflect off of the freshly frozen roads.

I love the crispness of the air.

I love that I can finally bust out my amazing winter coat.

I love the way I feel justified in sitting around in pajama pants all evening.

I love the way tea always tastes better when it's brutally cold outside.

Of course, this is Oklahoma snow (read: a solid sheet of ice), so it'll either be gone by morning, or suck for snowy day kinds of things, but still, until I move to a cooler climate, I'll enjoy what I've got. Stay warm, kids.

Sunday, November 26, 2006


Yeah, it's about time I post something, but for the life of me, there's nothing my brain can muster right now that would be worth reading...

 you have just witnessed. But, as a consolation prize, here's a picture of a giant inflatable avocado in shades with a goofy grin on his face. Hope that brightened your day a little.

Friday, November 17, 2006


I listed this site on know, in case anyone's interested, amused, or appalled by that. Throw chocolate chip cookies or rotting vegetables as appropriate. Until then...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Thursday, November 09, 2006


Read me, if you haven't yet.

See those bananas? They see you...

"Wort wort wort!" means "Salutations, simpleton."

"Repent!" "Never!" click. clack. SHINK! *thud*

"We're much too far for-HURGK!"

Dislexic man has epiphany: Ha-ah!

There's something on your face...SNACKING!

Hull breach in space? That sucks.

We're sinking; I still hope, love.

Give no quarter! (unless they're ladies)

Can you disembowel a gutless coward?

Bob looks sad... out of Enzite.

What shall I do, Lord? Believe.

People tea? I never said 'Soylent'.

More to come, I think...this is lots of fun. They're in the order that I wrote them, while I was making a pie and sort of writing a paper. Oh, and sorry about the ones that suck.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Silly aTm and their weird traditions...

This isn't the funniest one, but at the moment, it's my favorite.

Besides, we had that first down anyway. Holla...or something.